Oh my lord…it has been a while.  Hells bells, you try your best and move on right?

Life if continuing to move on in a very pleasant, calm, very cozy fashion.  I do love fall and the colors and light right now are so, so beautiful.  I spent the day on a walk with a friend, coffee with another friend, a few errands, a nap on the front porch swing and dinner with my folks.  All in all, a perfect day.

I hope to get back on track (or at least find the track again).  Still smiling, still breathing, still here xxoo

And there goes the little one.  Out the door, down the road, blazing his own trail on his bike.  He just got home from middle school and announced that his friend Sam was coming over.  Okay, awesome!  Making your own plans and taking control of your life.  This is what you are supposed to do as you grow up.  Yay!

Knock on the door….Sam’s here!  Would you two like a snack?  What would you like to do?

Um, mom, would it be okay if we rode our bikes downtown to Jersey Boys and got a slice of pizza?

Um, sure.  Of course, have fun, be safe, be back by five.  And by the way, aren’t you only TWO YEARS OLD?!  What do you mean can you ride to Jersey Boys?  You are my baby!  My little one!  What crazy time warp allowed this to happen?

So here I am…big one at football, little one carving his own independence.  Me, I’m finishing a book and sitting in the quiet.  This is what they do and how they prepare for the world, but, oh my goodness, they are my world.  Breathing quietly and smiling at gained independence on all fronts xxoo

Ok, so its been awhile……

Let me catch you all up a little.  It is homecoming week so there are many fun activities going on like a bonfire:

Poster making:

And a laugh olympics:

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I’m having a great time, although I am sucking in the writing department.  I hope to be able to spend some good time tomorrow and gather some thoughts and be wordy and wise(ish) again.  Breathing and smiling and slacking :). Xxoo

Oh my friends, what a great couple of days.  Mark’s football team won on Friday night and Aaron’s soccer team won today.  I had dinner with my parents who are in town visiting and am all snuggled up ready to go to sleep.

Sometimes it is just so good.  Breathe and smile xxoo

Friday Night Lights

smile and breathe xxoo

They came, they ate, they yelled, they left.  We hosted the football team tonight for their “team dinner”.  It is tradition for the team to eat together at a players house the Thursday night before each game.  So, with Mark being a senior, this was our last team dinner for a while.

And it was a good one.  15 pounds of chicken, 6 pounds of queso, 3 pounds of guacamole and 3 apple pies paid the ultimate price.  I got a great big hug from my big kid, then he disappeared into the garage for their meeting and rah-rah ritual.  He flew back through the house to grab his letter jacket and then he was out the door to go to the volleyball game.  Now he is at his girlfriends house helping her with homework.

Tonight reminded me of a scene from “Under the Tuscan Sun”.  The workers who have been laboring on Diane Lane’s home are done and are leaving her.  Even the young Paulo to whom she is closest.  “Even you, Paulo?” she yells after him.  “Maria is waiting!” is his reply.  Yep…..it happens to the best of us.  How can a house be so full and then so empty in such a whisper of a moment?

But in the emptiness (Aaron was at soccer, I’m not just denying his existence) there was also a quiet peace.  John and I cleaned happily together, talked and scrubbed, set the coffee and broke down tables.  I am seeing a life beyond football and Friday nights, soccer and spelling, making beds and making dinner.  And it looks pretty good, too.  I don’t do change well and our lives are going to change.  Going from two kids at home to one I think will be as big a change as going from one kid to two as we did 11 years ago.  I want guarantees about what my life is going to be like and, of course, that is impossible.

So looking into the unknown, I am holding onto these quiet moments, expanding them in my mind and seeing the possibilities.  Turning time over in my imagination and relaxing my grip on control.  Smiling and breathing as I do xxoo