I hate making mistakes.  I mean, I really, really hate making mistakes. I hate feeling like I do not have control of a situation.  I hate feeling like I have put someone out in someway.  And I hate coming to terms with the fact that I am not, and never will be, perfect.

I completely spaced a lunch date today.  It’s written right here on my calendar.  But did I look at my calendar this morning?  No, of course not.  That would make too much sense.  So my good friend Traci texted me when I was about 20 minutes late saying that she was sorry she must have had the wrong day.  I could have crawled under my car and died.  There was no excuse.  I simply did not check out the plan for the day before I started.

In spite of my best efforts, my dang personality continues to shove its way into my life.  Today I was thinking about the team dinner I am hosting for the football team on Thursday.  I was thinking about printing the pictures I need for the homecoming poster I am making tomorrow.  I was thinking about taking the recycling and going to the bank.  I was not focused my own needs and worse I was not focused on my friend.

I made this lunch date first of all because I really love this lady, of course.  And I also need that connection to friends.  I need the give and take of conversation.  I need to hear about my friends lives and live outside of myself.  I am a better person for the friendships I have in my life.  And I messed up today.

Growing in the Gap to me means finding the flaws and working to file them into beautiful facets.  Do I tend to only see what needs to be done next and ignore the people and emotions around me?….oh hells yes!  But can this flaw be filed down into something productive and not destructive?….I absolutely believe so.  And I will breathe and lean, flaws and all, into the Gap, ready to smile at the growth going on within xxoo