My first post, how exciting (and terrifying, and exhilarating, and hopeful, and egotistical). I can’t help it.  I do think it is a little weird doing a blog about myself and TOTALLY self-indulgent.  But this is the year of self-indulgence.  This is my GAP YEAR!!

First a little history….I am Shani Lemens Anderson, a mom of two boys, 17 and 10.  And until recently I have been working for a small manufacturer in my beautiful town of Whitefish, Montana.  But since stepping out of my last role and before I enter a new one I have decided to take a Gap Year.  For those of you who do not know this term, it usually refers a year that students take between their high school and college experience.  So basically it is for 18 year olds to figure out their future….not 46 year olds trying to figure out their past, present and future!

I really did not plan on taking a year to myself (well, myself and my family, you’ll meet them later).  I am the type of person who moves forward all the time, like all the time.  If there were a word that I thought defined me it would be “Go”.  That’s it, just GO.  Forward, all the time.  If you are not moving forward, what the hell are you doing?  Wasting time, clogging the flow, dragging down the herd.  That has been my mindset.  Lately.

But I remember a younger mom, a mom who loved to hike, who needed yoga, who read for pleasure for hours on end.  Who had time to ask my kids questions and really listen to the answers.  Who wasn’t exhausted at the end of the day and who did not just try to get through dinner so that I could fall gratefully into bed.  This chick was pretty great and I miss her.  Here she is now:

Now I know that much of this may have to do with aging, but I’m not willing to believe that theory without doing the research.  So this is my research year.  If I am given the time, if I give myself the permission, can I find that center again, or is this high pressure, high stress life just what happens when you grow up and have to keep going?  What is going to happen when I stop running?  What is going to happen when almost every decision I make is purposeful and not necessary?  What is going to happen when I have time to do all the laundry?!  What is going to happen in the Gap?

I plan on blogging everyday (hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha), but a girl can dream!  This will be my very public, private journal for the next 365 days on finding center, finding balance, finding focus and finding myself.  Hells bells, if it’s good enough for an 18 year old, it’s good enough for me!  Thanks for visiting and please come back again tomorrow.  I have no idea what will be going on, but for the first time in awhile, I can’t wait to see!