Well, it has been a month!  An amazing, transformative month.  I dare say one of the best summer months I have had in years.  And being that it is a milestone of sorts, I thought a look back at previous posts to see how I am progressing in my journey of Growing in the Gap was in order.

In my very first post, https://growinginthegap.com/day-one/, I pondered what would happen if I gave myself time to find my center.  Could I return to that joyful, carefree mom of years gone by?  After a month the jury is still out on that one.  Joyful, yes!  Carefree….ehhhh.  I’m starting to wonder if my carefree days were also slightly careless days.  I was younger, yes, and I think maybe I thought I had all the days I ever wanted in front of me.  Things change and we grow older and with that comes a levity of understanding that days are not unlimited.  So can I go back to carefree totally?  No.   Do I really want to? No.  Knowing that time is limited forces me make my choices carefully, not carelessly, and I don’t think that is a bad direction to be headed.

This also brings me to my post on day three, https://growinginthegap.com/day-three/, where I discussed the fact that all things are finite.  Our time is finite and much of this year will be spent to find things worthy of filling my finite.  Have I done that in this first month?  Oh, I think so.  Camping, kayaking, hiking, loving, laughing, playing, swimming.  I have loved so many days this month.  Filling the finite with joy and with activities and people that fill my soul will continue to be the game plan for the next eleven months, as well.  Of course it’s not all rainbows and butterflies.  I can’t shirk all responsibilities and focus only on myself all year, and I wouldn’t want to.  How boring!  See day seventeen regarding this https://growinginthegap.com/day-seventeen/

Another goal that I identified for the year is living in the moment.  https://growinginthegap.com/day-eleven/  More precisely, not ruining the moment by worrying about the future.  Have I gotten better about that?  Hard to say, I think so. But there is still worry in my life.  Just the other day waiting for my little one to get home from being on the river with a friend, I was overcome with worry.  Now the worry was not going to change anything, the worry was not going to make him safe and all it did was preoccupy me from enjoying a get together with good friends.  So yes, still something to work on, but at least I can now see the cloud building and I hope that I will soon learn to blow back the storm.

And finally, I am working on setting boundaries, https://growinginthegap.com/day-twenty-four/.  This is a newly identified goal (day twenty-four, after all), but an important one to remain focused on.  I don’t think that it would be possible to truly know oneself without know ones boundaries.  So in the process of relearning myself I will also be rediscovering my “Yes, please” but especially my “No, thank you” words.

So, I think that’s it for the day.  One month in and I am truly enjoying the journey.  And so I smile looking forward to the eleven months to come and breathe deeply while I lean into the Gap.